How To Avoid Supper Club Panic And be the Perfect Dinner Party Hostess

In writing Supper Club menus you have to take into account that some things you think are easy can be really challenging for others. I once wrote a menu that including steamed lobsters. I grew up on the east coast where boiling a lobster was considered simple. For others it was a real challenge.

I knew I was in trouble when I saw my friend Kathy having a panic attack in my kitchen. Our neighborhood Supper Club is large and involves 5 dinner parties of 4 couples each. To make it a little easier I ordered the 40 lobsters and arranged for the hosts to pick them up at my house.

Kathy stopped by to pick up the lobster and her anxiety started to show. Let me say that Kathy is a very clever lady. She grew up in Kansas City and had never cooked a lobster. Seeing the squirming lobsters in the bag set off a look of panic that reminded me of a lady I had seen having a panic attack in the Shannon airport in Ireland. Fear of flying is a real phobia. Fear of cooking lobster was apparently just as real.

I felt really bad. Kathy is one of my favorite people and I was the cause of her anxiety. My initial answer was to offer to cook the lobster for her. She would never have to see an uncooked lobster again.

Somehow we talked Kathy down off the panic level. I took her through the simplicity of boiling water. Dropping the lobsters in head-first. Cooking for 7 minutes. Checking for the lobsters to turn red. Explaining how lobsters have built in doneness devices. Sort of like the pop-up device in Roasting chickens that pops up when the chicken is done. Lobsters turn bright red when done.

She got through the evening and her Supper Club was a huge success. Has she cooked a lobster since? I wouldn’t bet on it.

When faced with a Supper Club challenge, do a little research. You can get a video on YouTube or several “How-to’s” via a Google Search. Another tried and true method is to invite the person that suggested the menu and tell them: “It was your idea so you can cook the Lobster”.

If you enjoy this blog and similar other stories/supper club lessons subscribe to get future blogs at www.impromptufridaynights.com/blog and be on the look out for my book Impromptu Friday Nights a Guide to Supper Clubs due out from Morgan James Publishing on January 30, 2018.

When a Party Takes On a Life Of Its Own

Have you ever hosted a party that became larger than life? My wife and I hosted a neighborhood New Years Eve party for over 25 years. We started when we lived in Delaware and our Supper Club friends were an integral part of it. When we moved to Tennessee we continued the tradition.

The party started out at about 25 people. Our Supper Club and neighborhood in Memphis is a lot larger. I should have known we were in trouble when during the course of the year we got alcohol induced queries about what someone needed to do to get an invite.

Credit to my wife. She saw the storm coming and wanted to curtail our efforts long before I did. My theory has always been the more the merrier. I “say” I can cook for 50 as easy as 15. But I was wrong. The party got up to 40 people and simply, got out of control. There were people there that we barely knew and Susan felt she wasn’t able to enjoy the time with her friends.

I need to explain that the party was a pretty big deal. We started out with drinks and grilled pizzas. Then we had a sit down dinner with 3 entrees and at least 5 sides. We always had a “game” with a version of the Newlyweds Game being the most infamous. Of course there would be desserts and a champagne toast.

The logistics of pulling the party off was a challenge that I liked. Organizing the food prep, renting tables/chairs (one long table wound through the house), renting China (who has China for 40?). Susan being smarter than me was quick to point out that we were out control. Not to mention the cost. One might guess why the party was popular. It was certainly a lot cheaper to go to the Kenny’s than restaurant options.

Finally Susan put her foot down and said the party needed to kept to 20 people. That was fine but the unintended consequence was that there were over 20 people that got cut from the list that didn’t quite understand and are still mad at us today. Oh well.

Four years ago our niece’s wedding saved us. The wedding scheduled on New Years Eve forced us out the NYE party business. It was sort of like the Chinese bamboo shoots under the fingernails. Boy does it feel good when you pull them out. Now we are just thankful not to be hosting the NYE party.

As final message to Supper Clubbers:
• Listen to your wife. Woman’s instincts on people are probably better
• Beware of unintended consequences
• Apologies to those who got cut. You are right. Susan is a sweetheart and I am an asshole.

A Free Dessert Isn’t Worth It

We have all been to a restaurant with someone who always seems to find something wrong. The worst part is that there are those that find something wrong simply to get something for free. It drives me nuts. If you are complaining in an effort to get a free dessert, something is wrong.

Years ago we moved to northern California. While we were on a house-hunting trip we were staying at a very nice hotel with a really good restaurant. In the middle of our meal the table across from us have a major issue. The customer claimed to have found a cockroach in their salad. There was a blow-up with the waiter and then the manager. After the offended party had left in a huff, the manager came up to us and explained that it was the fifth time he had the same incident happen. It turned out the “Offended” party had replicated a scene from the movie “Victor Victoria” that had recently played in theatres. Maybe the people at the table across from us were just bad actors.

The sad part is that the easiest way for managers of a restaurant or anyone in a service industry to deal with an unruly customer is to give them something for nothing. It is almost like we are being trained to complain. Social media is compounding the problem as complainers have a larger platform to hear their complaints and management is more than motivated to make complaints go away.

When I have a problem at a restaurant I will go out my way to try to explain that I am complaining to let the restaurant know about a problem and that I do not want something for nothing. This has actually worked against me. I once took customers to a very nice restaurant. There were 5 of us and we ordered a bottle of wine. The waiter “over-poured” the wine for 4 guests and then came to me with “you will want another bottle of wine”. The waiter then tried to “up-sell” a few more times through the course of the dinner. It was a situation where I didn’t want to make an issue in front of my customers. The issue just stayed with me. The next day I called the restaurant and got the manager. I told him that I wanted him to be aware but I did not want something for nothing. He handled the situation very well finally he said to me “I know that if I don’t give you something to come back you won’t”. He was right I didn’t accept something and I didn’t go back for 5 years. It became my problem.

I don’t have a solution to the problem. I do know that I make a practice of avoiding known offenders (you know who you are). I also go out of my way to complement good service. I am one of those relics that will still send hand-written notes. I send lots of notes. I also try to use social media to be positive. If you look for good stuff you can find it. In most cases it is easier to be nice. And besides, you probably are better off without the extra calories associated with a free dessert.

If you enjoyed this blog and similar other stories/supper club lessons follow me on Facebook and Twitter and subscribe to get future blogs at www.impromptufridaynights.com/blog and check out my book Impromptu Friday Nights a Guide to Supper Clubs. Published by Morgan James Publishing and available through most channels where books are sold.