“It Is Not What You Say, It Is How You Say It”.

You have to love the nuance of language. The same thing can be said the same way and mean many different things. It gets particularly nuanced when traveling and talking to people in a language that is not their mother tongue.Yet, you need to be careful pretty much all the time, even at wine group gathering,  because the old adage is true: “It is not what you say, it is how you say it”. Here are a few examples

1. “I Am A Communist, And I Eat Capitalist For Breakfast”

A friend of mine was in Berlin back in the early 1990’s right after the Berlin wall had come down and reunification of Germany had just begun. He went for a jog in the morning in his sweatsuit and wearing a NY Yankee baseball hat (He is a native Memphian but…?). After his jog he went to a Burger King to get coffee. A scruffily dressed man walked up to David dressed in his American uniform and gruffly announced. “I Am A Communist, And I Eat Capitalist For Breakfast”.  My buddy noticed how the Burger King employee taking his order winced and thought: “Now I am in trouble…”. Then the communist smiled and David realized that he just wanted him to know that he liked American food. Language can be nuanced.

2. “Une Femme D’un Certain Age”

You have to love the French. Not only can they really cook, but they have such a wonderful way with words.

They wouldn’t call someone an:

  • “Older woman”.
    • A woman of a certain age sounds so much better

They wouldn’t say:

  • “He looks good for his age”
  • “He reminds me of his father” or worse: “His grandfather”.
  • “He looks so much older than his wife”
    • “Un home d’un certain age” sounds so much better.

A classic example of Une femme d’un certain age was the French actress Simone Signoret in her later years. She was  a great actress who was also married to the actor Ives Montand. Ives was famous in the U.S. for the movie he made with Marilyn Monroe,  Let’s Make Love. It just so happens that Ives was a first cousin of our International Sales Manager at Kraft, John Argiro. John told us the story of how Ives had an affair with Marilyn during the filming of movie. As John said: “Who could blame him, he was French”. Simone never divorced him. She just made him pay. I am sure that more than language was nuanced.

3, “OK, OK, OK”

I was once going to Japan to negotiate a business deal. Before I left our corporate attorney, who had lived in Japan for a few years as a young man, gave me some sage advice: He said if the Japanese start saying “OK, OK, OK” that means they don’t understand what you are saying. To which I replied: “You mean it is basically the same as with an American talking to another American?” Language can be nuanced.

The good news with wine groups is that if you are enjoying a a glass of wine with friends, you are probably on safer ground. It is always a good idea to think about what you say and how you say it, but if you say it with a glass of wine in your hand and a smile on your face, you are almost certainly OK.

If you enjoyed this blog and similar other stories/supper club lessons follow me on Facebook and Twitter and subscribe to get future blogs at www.impromptufridaynights.com/blog and check out my book Impromptu Friday Nights a Guide to Supper Clubs. Published by Morgan James Publishing and available through most channels where books are sold.

Listening Is A Gift

The key to a successful a  party host or hostess is to make your guests feel welcomed and entertained. Some people are just good at it. One of the best is my mother. After spending a weekend at my mom’s a friend once said to me: “Your mom has a gift, she is both interested and interesting”.

My mom turned 100 in August and she is still going strong. Mom started college when she was just 16, took college classes till she was 97 and still wants to learn today. Past being smart, she is a secret weapon at dinner parties. Mom is one of those rare people that really listen to her guests. (Featured picture has mom 100  listening to her great grandson Declan 3) She has the ability to focus on what her guests are saying and play back an interesting insight to complement her guest’s point.

(Note: This is a picture of Mom Mom telling a story at Jennifer and Ethan’s wedding. Her “stories” have become a fixture at the family’s weddings. After her most recent performance, an investment banker friend recommended she start a business for weddings…”Rent a mom-mom for stories that will make you laugh and cry”.)

One of my largest complaints in life is that brains ran in my family, but when it came to me, they walked. Unlike my mom, I am not a great listener. Instead of focusing on what you are saying to me, I am thinking about what I am going to say.

Beyond being interested and interesting, mom is a great cook. She is famous for her Mom Mom’s Vinaigrette. She lived in Westhampton NY  for years and got a lot of visitors in the summer. The local produce out there in the summer is outstanding. Most of the meals mom serves center around a great salad. The cornerstone of her salad is her vinaigrette. She claims the origination is a recipe in the New York Times, but I believe the beauty of it comes form her herb garden and the fact that she never makes it the same way twice.

Mom Mom’s Salad

Mom’s Herb Garden

Mom enjoying her glass of wine under the arbor

Mom enjoying a glass of wine at her 100th birthday party

If imitation is the sincerest form of flattery then this vinaigrette is legendary. My daughter Jennifer once surveyed Mom-mom’s other grandchildren and their spouses and 8 out of 10 use mom’s vinaigrette as a culinary staple. One reason is that it tastes great. The other reason is that it reminds them of their youth spending summers with their amazing grandmother.

If you can make your guests feel welcomed and entertained you will be a success.

If you enjoyed this blog and similar other stories/supper club lessons follow me on Facebook and Twitter and subscribe to get future blogs at www.impromptufridaynights.com/blog and check out my book Impromptu Friday Nights a Guide to Supper Clubs. Published by Morgan James Publishing and available through most channels where books are sold.

Crostini Take 2

Note: This is a second go round for this blog. As I restart work on book number 2 about wine groups the concept of appetizer platforms will be key and Crostinis are a fantastic platform

 

Just about everyone loves a Crostini. They are perfect for a wine group gathering:

  • They taste great
  • You can have a wide variety
  • Pare wonderfully with a variety of wines
  • Range from sweet to savory with every combination in between
  • Can be delegated easily with each participant responsible for an offering
  • Easy to eat in a party setting
  • Fun and informal
  • Easy to make
  • Even leftovers are great.

Crostini (meaning “little crusts” in Italian; singular crostino) are an Italian appetizer   consisting of small slices of grilled or toasted bread and toppings. The toppings may include a variety of different cheese, meats, fruits and vegetables , or may be presented more simply with a brush of olive oil and herbs or a sauce.

Crostini make a wonderful theme for a wine group gathering. You can provide participants with a recipe or simply ask them to get creative. One can stick to store bought ingredients and with a little creativity can come across as a culinary genius.

Crostini Menu

  1. Smoked Salmon With Salmon Spread

  2. Seared Sea Scallop With Horseradish Cream Cheese 

  3. Smoked Salmon With Horseradish Cream Cheese

  4. Mortadella With Herbed Cream Cheese And Pepperoncino 

  5. Roast Beef With Horseradish Cream Cheese And Green Onion

  6. Bacon With Herbed Cream Cheese, Pesto and Sun Dried Tomato 

  7. Roasted Brussel Sprouts With Gorgonzola Cream Cheese 

  8. Roasted Grapes With Gorgonzola Cream Cheese And Red Onion 

  9. Walnut, Apricot and Brie Crostini

  10. Sweetened Strawberry With Herbed Cream Cheese And Balsamic

Clockwise: Bacon With Herbed Cream Cheese, Pesto and Sun Dried Tomato.Walnut, Apricot and Brie, Mortadella With Herbed Cream Cheese And Pepperoncino, Roasted Grapes With Gorgonzola Cream Cheese, Sweetened Strawberry With Cream Cheese, Seared Sea Scallop With Horseradish Cream Cheese, Smoked Salmon With Horseradish Cream Cheese, Roast Beef With Horseradish Cream Cheese, Roasted Brussel Sprouts With Gorgonzola Cream Cheese,

My history with Philadelphia cream cheese steps forward in the menu. In a previous life, I ran the cream cheese business for Kraft Food Ingredients. An old boss at General Foods once said to me that there is nothing more boring than a 5-minute conversation about the coffee business at a cocktail party. The same could probably be said about the cream cheese business. There are a few things I can tell you from my cream cheese experience:

  • It pares amazingly well with both sweet and savory applications. The sweet strawberry Crostini benefits from the rich creaminess of the cream cheese. The savory salmon spread delivers a perfect combination of flavors. Several times I have had salmon haters tell me they don’t like salmon, but they love this spread.
  • European cream cheese is really good as it is half cream and half milk. American cream cheeses have gone with 1/4 cream and the rest milk. Having sold Philadelphia Cream Cheese made both in the U.S. and in Europe I can tell you that product from Europe tastes better. Fat delivers flavor.

Cream cheese certainly helps these Crostinis.

Try a CROSTINI theme at your next wine group gathering.

If you enjoyed this blog and similar other stories/wine group/supper club lessons follow me on Facebook and Twitter and subscribe to get future blogs at www.impromptufridaynights.com/blog and check out my book Impromptu Friday Nights a Guide to Supper Clubs. Published by Morgan James Publishing and available through most channels where books are sold.