What To Wear?

Every wife will ask her husband: “What should I wear to the party?” Of course it depends. My cousin in Florida says “In Florida it’s simple it is either casual or formal. Casual means shorts. Formal means black tie.”

My experience is that Supper Clubs are pretty casual. The season is more a driver of what people wear. Closer to the holidays the ladies will dress up. The warmer the weather is, the more casual the attire.

One of the classic stories about what to wear goes back to a corporate event we hosted In Montreal years ago. Kraft hosted a Culinary event at the Research Chefs Association trade show. It was dinner for 200 people. It was winter. It was a corporate event that was pretty formal. During a prep meeting for the event the subject of attire was being debated. Discussion was going in all directions. Amanda our sous chef walked up to a flip chart and jotted “The attire for the event should match the elegance of the evening”. Wow!

(RCA: Above are the ladies who voted for more formal and a few guys working hard)

A few weeks later my mom was visiting and I showed her the invitation for the event. She immediately focused in on the attire description and asked who wrote this: I told her about Amanda the sous chef. To which she said: “chef – she should be writing advertising copy”. Some people can really write. Amanda can cook and write.

Getting back to what to wear for Supper Clubs, casual, and comfortable works.

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Je Me Souviens

The beauty of supper clubs is that people connect. There is nothing much more fun than socializing and connecting with people over a meal. Every once in awhile, you meet someone you know you will remember.

Sometimes in life you meet people and have an automatic connection. That happened to me a few years ago at a friend’s son’s wedding in Quebec City. I met Jean Avard, an uncle of the groom, at the rehearsal party and we just talked. For two hours straight. At some point our wives simultaneously asked each other: Does someone need to be rescued? They quickly came to the conclusion that we were just two peas in a pod.

We mostly talked about family. I knew Jean’s middle son Doomie from his golfing trips to Memphis. The first year I retired it just happened that Doomie and I were alone together on the golf course for three days straight. You get to learn a lot about a person playing an empty golf course in March. Doomie is a great guy and we just had fun. Jean got to tell me about his other two boys Charles and Philippe. How they were all different and unique. Most of all he made it clear how proud he was of all three.

I got to tell him about my undergraduate thesis in Canadian studies. My thesis was that the separatist movement in Quebec would go the way of other radical movements in North America and that over time it would be assimilated. From 1976 to 2015 I couldn’t have been more wrong. Montreal, in particular, is more French today than it was in my college days. Jean and I agreed that while I was wrong to that point, I have time on my side.

After the wedding Nancy and Jean hosted a brunch at their wonderful lake house outside of Quebec City. Jean got to show everyone the trophy 24 inch trout that he had caught. Truth was he wasn’t much of a fisherman, but he caught the trophy. Their lake house in Quebec reminded me of my grandfather’s lake house in Connecticut. The lake house were miles apart, but the importance to our respective families were the same.

(Nancy and Jean at the lake)

Tragically, we lost Jean a few months after the wedding in a bicycle accident. Jean is gone, but his stories live on. Doomie and Estelle’s baby named Jean, after his grandfather, has helped fill the void. My guess is that baby Jean will grow up to be a great story teller.

(Baby Jean and his father Doomie)

If a supper club can be a venue for people connecting, that is a good thing.

Living in Tennessee we don’t see many Quebec license plates, but when I do I think of Jean: “Je me souviens” (I remember).

Be Both Interested And Interesting

The key to a successful a dinner party host or hostess is to make your guests feel welcomed and entertained. Some people are just good at it. One of the best is my mother. After spending a weekend at my mom’s a friend once said to me: “Your mom has a gift, she is both interested and interesting”.

My mom is going to be 97 in August and she is still going strong. Mom started college when she was just 16 and still goes to college today. Past being smart, she is a secret weapon at dinner parties. Mom is one of those rare people that really listen to her guests. She has the ability to focus on what her guests are saying and play back an interesting insight to complement her guest’s point.

(Note: This is a picture of Mom Mom telling a story at Jennifer and Ethan’s wedding. Her “stories” have become a fixture at the family’s weddings. After her most recent performance, an investment banker friend recommended she start a business for weddings…”Rent a mom-mom for stories that will make you laugh and cry”.)

One of my largest complaints in life is that brains ran in my family, but when it came to me they walked. Unlike my mom, I am not a great listener. Instead of focusing on what you are saying to me, I am thinking about what I am going to say.

Beyond being interested and interesting mom is a great cook. She is famous for her Mom Mom’s Vinaigrette. She lives in Westhampton NY and gets a lot of visitors in the summer. The local produce out there in the summer is outstanding. Most of the meals mom serves center around a great salad. The cornerstone of her salad is her vinaigrette. She claims the origination is a recipe in the New York Times, but I believe the beauty of it comes form her herb garden and the fact that she never makes it the same way twice.

If imitation is the sincerest form of flattery then this vinaigrette is legendary. My daughter Jennifer once surveyed Mom-mom’s other grandchildren and their spouses and 8 out of 10 use mom’s vinaigrette as a culinary staple. One reason is that it tastes great. The other reason is that it reminds them of their youth spending summers with their amazing grandmother.

If you can make your supper club dinner party guests feel welcomed and entertained you will be a success.