New Communication Rules To Live By

With Supper Clubs and with life, the key to success is communication. In today’s multimedia world, we have more tools than ever to communicate. This is not always a good thing. People put things in a text or email, that they would never say in a face to face conversation. As with most things in life, the more people that are involved, the greater chance for mis-communication. We had an excellent example a few years ago. Email was used to communicate a change of plans and a newcomer to the club got upset. If someone had talked to the new person, explaining the situation and past practice, there would have been no problem. Instead, email led to a meltdown. It became a classic case of “no good deed goes unpunished”.

Check out the recipe for Ultimate Secret Recipe Brownies

We had a supper club meltdown caused by cancelations and mis-communication. Our neighborhood Supper Club was quite large with 5 dinner parties going on a given night with 4 couples at each party. So with 40 people involved it can get complicated. The leader of our club does a masterful job of scheduling through difficulties. The rule in our club is that if you cancel, it is up to you to find a substitute. We have a list of 30 or more subs so there is usually a good pool of alternates. If you have difficulty finding a sub, it initially falls back to the host of the dinner party. When we are hosting and we have cancelations I look at it as a recruiting opportunity. The host can call in reinforcements from anywhere. I have been known to pull people in from work, the gym, golf course, or anywhere. My wife has accused me a pulling strangers off the interstate.

The night of the meltdown was caused by multiple cancelations. The leader of the club made a decision to consolidate dinner parties, as was the normal practice. An email was sent out explaining that one party was being eliminated. The hostess whose party was eliminated was new to the club and was very offended. The poor leader thought she was doing the “Newby” a favor by solving the scheduling issue and saving the hostess from all the work involved with hosting. The Newby felt that she was being arbitrarily picked on. Email nasty-grams were sent and quite simply, it got ugly. To be honest it was a case where email was the standard operating procedure, but simply does not work.

New Communication rules to live by:

Never use email or text if any bad emotion is involved.
If you are irritated don’t push send.
Face to face communication is best.
Direct phone contact is second best.
If you have two touches of telephone tag use text message to get a person to person meeting or call scheduled.
Voicemail is next best but dangerous.
Be really careful what you put in writing. Email and text can be great but you miss out on the chance to read your audience and adapt your message. Plus, they don’t go away and keep hordes of lawyer gainfully employed. The really bad thing about emails and texts is that people will write things that they would never say face to face.
Blogging will piss off your sisters. As the little brother, I have a history of making “Snarky” comments. I will admit that I can be a jerk. Even when I am justified….Snarky is probably a bad thing. Being Snarky towards a family member on the internet, even when funny…will get you in trouble

Please note that I have broken just about every one of my “Rules” in writing this blog. Oh well…

At the end of the day it is hard to avoid miscommunication and feelings getting hurt. Common sense and sensitivity go a long way. Sometimes bad stuff just happens. Writing a nasty email isn’t necessarily bad. Writing a nasty email and hitting send usually is.

If you enjoyed this blog and similar other stories/supper club lessons follow me on Facebook and Twitter and subscribe to get future blogs at www.impromptufridaynights.com/blog and check out my book Impromptu Friday Nights a Guide to Supper Clubs. Published by Morgan James Publishing and available through most channels where books are sold.

Layer In Flavor

Great chefs will layer in flavor to deliver amazing dishes. One of the ways to really impress your guests at a dinner party is to serve dishes with multiple flavors that are complementary and have been ‘layered’ into a dish. When you add dimension with texture you hit the culinary daily double.

What does layering in flavor really mean? A great example is preparing shrimp.

You can just cook it in boiling water. It is pretty bland.
Or you can layer in flavor by:
- Seasoning with olive oil, salt & pepper
- Grill it on a wood-fired grill
- Add seasoning: salt, pepper or maybe chili powder
- Sprinkle it with fresh herbs
- Serve it with a southwestern sauce
- Complement your dish by serving it with a wonderful sauvignon blanc
These are all examples of layering in flavor

A great example of this is a Romaine Wedge dish that I make. It combines:

• Fresh crisp lettuce
• A gorgonzola vinaigrette
• Crisp bacon
• Homemade garlic croutons
• Tomato, olive, onion, herb topping

Check out the recipe

There is a lot going on with this dish but it all comes to come together so well.

Not everyone can pick up the flavor nuances of the specific dimensions. I certainly cannot. But I know it taste great and I have feedback from dinner guests that reconfirm it. You know you have something special when people come to a party that you are hosting and ask for a specific dish. I have gotten numerous requests for the romaine wedge. Conversely, you will can get complaints that you didn’t make a certain dish.

I make a grilled/roasted shrimp that is stuffed with Gorgonzola and wrapped with bacon. It has all the basic food groups…layered together. It is the kind of item that you bring to a party and people line up to get their share. We have a good friend from England who is very proper in a British way who has let me know that she is disappointed that I didn’t make my shrimp appetizer.

Check out the recipe

Think of the flavor difference between the standard boiled (overcooked) shrimp with jarred cocktail sauce versus a grill-roasted shrimp stuffed with Gorgonzola wrapped in bacon. Layering in flavor is a good thing.

You Can’t Make Everyone Happy

One of the challenges you can face developing a menu for a dinner party is if you should avoid an item that you know some people will like and some people will not like such as: Seafood, Lamb, Spicy, Coconut etc.

A classic story involved an impromptu dinner party that my buddy Lucien and I cooked for. One Friday afternoon we decided to have a dinner party the next day and to feature rack of lamb. With short notice we started inviting people to our “rack of lamb” dinner. Pretty quickly the number of guests got to over 20 and at least a third said on the front end: “I don’t like lamb but…”

My favorite memory of the evening was four or five of the “haters” fighting over the lasts lamb chops. There is something about a rack of lamb cooked to perfection. Lamb can be gamey. If it is overcooked it can be tough and flavorless. The lesson I learned that night is that if you sear it on the front end at high heat and cook it to medium rare, your guests are in for a treat.

It is amazing to me how many people don’t like seafood. Fish can be a strong flavor. Seafood that is a little off is really bad. Again, fresh seafood prepared correctly is phenomenal. I would guess that over 20% of consumers simply don’t like fish.

My parents own a house on Long Island New York. When we were in our twenties my wife Susan and I would throw what we called our annual “Hamptoons” party. Our friends from college and work would gather at the house in Westhampton and the highlight was a lobster and clam feast. And yes, there was alcohol involved. Invariably there would be several newcomers that had never had lobster and to whom the thought of eating raw clams was unpalatable. Susan would show the newbies how to eat her favorite crustaceans and we had many a convert. We would also give out the “Poison lobster” award to someone who got over served alcohol. Trust me, the lobster was never the problem.

You are never going to make everyone happy. When it comes to polarizing flavors like lamb, seafood and coconut, I say go for it. While you won’t please everyone, the chances are pretty good that you will have a few converts.