You have to love the nuance of language. The same thing can be said the same way and mean many different things. It gets particularly nuanced when travelling and talking to people in a language that is not their mother tongue.Yet, you need to be careful pretty much all the time, even at supper club dinner parties because the old adage is true: “It is not what you say, it is how you say it”.
“I Am A Communist, And I Eat Capitalist For Breakfast”
A friend of mine was in Berlin back in the early 1990’s right after the Berlin wall had come down and reunification of Germany had just begun. He went for a jog in the morning in his sweatsuit and wearing a NY Yankee baseball hat (He is a native Memphian but…?). After his jog he went to a Burger King to get coffee. A scruffily dressed man walked up to David dressed in his American uniform and gruffly announced. “I Am A Communist, And I Eat Capitalist For Breakfast”. My buddy noticed how the Burger King employee taking his order winced and thought: “Now I am in trouble…”. Then the communist smiled and David realized that he just wanted him to know that he liked American food. Language can be nuanced.
“Une Femme D’un Certain Age”
You have to love the French. Not only can they really cook, but they have such a wonderful way with words.
They wouldn’t call someone an:
- “Older woman”.
- A woman of a certain age sounds so much better
They wouldn’t say:
- “He looks good for his age”
- “He reminds me of his father” or worse: “His grandfather”.
- “He looks so much older than his wife”
- “Un home d’un certain age” sounds so much better.
A classic example of Une femme d’un certain age was the French actress Simone Signoret in her later years. She was a great actress who was also married to the actor Ives Montand. Ives was famous in the U.S. for the movie he made with Marilyn Monroe, Let’s Make Love. It just so happens that Ives was a first cousin of our International Sales Manager at Kraft, John Argiro. John told us the story of how Ives had an affair with Marilyn during the filming of movie. As John said: “Who could blame him, he was French”. Simone never divorced him. She just made him pay. I am sure that more than language was nuanced.
“OK, OK, OK”
I was once going to Japan to negotiate a business deal. Before I left our corporate attorney, who had lived in Japan for a few years as a young man, gave me some advice: He said if the Japanese start saying “OK, OK, OK” that means they don’t understand what you are saying. To which I replied: “You mean it is basically the same as with an American talking to another American?” Language can be nuanced.
The good news with supper clubs is that if you are enjoying a meal with friends, you are probably on safer ground. It is always a good idea to think about what you say and how you say it, but if you say it with a glass of wine in your hand and a smile on your face, you are almost certainly OK.
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